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Then, about a year ago, I had a sobbing meltdown in the kitchen in front of my spouse.

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It had started out innocently enough: He'd invited a friend over for dinner, but I was on a high-pressure work deadline and had no time or mental energy to spare. That evening, he waltzed through the door from work, bubbling with enthusiasm. I met him in the kitchen, exhausted and hungry. I stared at him for a moment, and felt myself crumple in frustration. The strength of my reaction to this question surprised even me.

Why on Earth was I so upset? It took some deep breaths, and a bit of damage control that evening, and a number of halting, stumbling conversations over the course of the next few months, but eventually I put my finger on it.

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In offering to make dinner, my husband, with the absolute best of intentions, had focused on the one thing he'd promised to do: grab a pot and a pan, put something in it, and make edible food. But what I'd wanted him to do was much more complex, so ingrained in my experience of cooking that I didn't even think to articulate it.

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I wanted him to pick up the baton. To check what ingredients we already had, and what might need using up. To plan out a meal that would meet everyone's dietary needs and preferences including a balanced amount of protein and starch, and at least one vegetable. I wanted him to look up recipes, and make a grocery list if needed, and stop by the store on the way home.

I wanted him to make food appear without my having to think about it. I wanted him to make dinner. And it hadn't even occurred to him to look in the fridge before he left for work that morning. This wasn't entirely his fault: I realized that he didn't want to guess at the cooking process on his own because I had so thoroughly claimed my title as the keeper of the food.


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For those of us who cook frequently, planning and strategizing for meals becomes background noise. It's part of the mental load , the running list of small decisions and knowledge required to maintain a household.


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  6. And as with so much of that mental load, cisgender women like me end up shouldering the lion's share. We are trained to reflexively and uncomplainingly take on as much of the mental load as we can possibly bear. And cooking is still a highly feminized pursuit; it's a skill girls are implicitly expected not only to learn, but enjoy doing.

    To be feminine, we are told, we must be hospitable, nurturing, giving — qualities that are intimately bound up with feeding those around us. If a meal isn't balanced and complete, if someone isn't happy with their portion, if it costs too much or doesn't land on the table on time, it feels like a personal failure. On average, 3. Read more: 17 discontinued car brand logos you completely forgot about and will likely never see on the road again.

    The firm excluded vehicles with less than 1, miles on the odometer from the study. This was done to keep the study from being skewed by "car punching", which is when automakers offer incentives to dealers to buy new cars to use as loaners and then resell them when they're still under a year old. The second Nissan Versa on the list is the hatchback Note version. The Mini Clubman is the most expensive car on the list. Its price, in conjunction with its low fuel-economy rating, may have caused drivers to want to trade it in for something more efficient, Ly said. Power, which could contribute to why owners would want to give them up," Ly said.

    10. Nissan Versa

    The most resold car, Thousands of protesters also took to the streets in the southern cities of Nasiriyah and Diwaniyah, defying a curfew still in place there. In Diwaniyah, at least one protester was killed as demonstrators marched toward local government offices, a medical official and human rights official said. They did not provide details. In the restive city of Nasiriyah, demonstrators torched the offices of three political parties and a lawmaker.

    Al-Hablusi repeated promises to address unemployment and poverty. But the promises did nothing to stop the unfolding street violence.

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    The deadliest day was Friday, when 22 people were killed in Baghdad. Health officials said many of those victims were wounded in the head and chest. A previous version of this story was edited to correct the spelling of the Baghdad neighborhood of Zaafaraniyeh. Security forces kill more than 80 in 5 days of Iraq protests.